Last week we were working down in South East Victoria, with a group of savvy business women.
When it comes to our business presentations…
we challenge and
we share insights and learning.
It would be so easy to just do the empower, encourage and ‘positive psychology’ presentations that we do and are known for, there’s nothing wrong with that, but this was business.
With the ‘empower and encourage presentations’ women can walk away feeling uplifted and happy for a while, but lasting change and life transformation can be easily side stepped and avoided, unless a conscious choice is made. We wanted this group of women to feel both – uplifted and encouraged, but at the same time stretched and challenged. We wanted them to raise the bar in their businesses and in their lives, so that the purpose was greater than them and that they would leave the workshop being an inspiration to others.
Sign up for Updates
We always find ‘Business’ an interesting platform to speak on. We love it and we do a lot of it. So we hear a lot of things about business.
When business isn’t going so well, we get to hear every conceivable excuse and reason. ‘It’s the economy’, ‘the weather’, ‘the position’, ‘the competition’, ‘we live in the country’… and so on…. It’s the same when life isn’t going so well… we get to hear the blaming, and every other conceivable excuse and reason.
Business is like life, no matter what season of life or industry you’re in, there will be times when things get tough, in fact down right hard.
Clients and customers leave.
Staff can disappoint.
Sales can drop.
(Insert life’s disappointments and challenges here)
When it comes to business and life’s adversities, it isn’t so much a matter of ‘if’, but rather ‘when’.
The real trouble doesn’t occur when you hit tough times and hardship, but rather when that hardship consumes your thinking, conversations and life. That’s when it can bring you down. When hardship hits, and you know inherently in life and in business, that it will at times, it’s important to not become a slave to the victim mindset.
Do everything and anything
to create the
No matter how hard it gets, or how awful someone may have been to you, it isn’t the event or person that defines you, but rather how you respond. That’s where your power lies – it’s a crucial point to remember – YOU are always in charge of how you feel and your choice of emotions and responses. Nobody can make you feel down, resentful, angry or negative without your consent.
Have you ever noticed how people can react so differently to the same event? Think about a movie. You come out of the movie with your friend and you think it’s one of the best movies you’ve ever seen and she thought it was terrible, boring and a waste of time and money. And you wonder … ‘were we watching the same movie?’
That’s how it is when tough times hit. Where do you place your focus? How do you choose to respond?
You have the choice - you can stay positive. You can keep persisting. You can go the extra mile. You can think of a better way, because there is always, always, always a way to improve a situation. (It’s a law of physics, or so my year 11 physics teacher said back in the day, ‘for every problem there is a solution!’)
This way of thinking is the Non Victim Mindset. And for your own sake and for the sake of your business if you have one, it's imperative that you adopt it fully in your life.
Those who have mastered the Non Victim Mindset share these 3 characteristics (and a whole lot more).
1. THEY ARE SOLUTION ORIENTED
They don't dwell endlessly on the problem. You cannot see the solution if you are only focusing on the problem.
As Einstein so aptly put it, to paraphrase. ‘You cannot come up with solutions to a problem, with the same thinking that created it’ … pretty obvious really, isn’t it?
People with the Non Victim Mindset, discipline their mind to look for something, anything, they can do to move things forward and make things better. They are constantly looking for actions to take, no matter how small, to improve the situation.
And because they are looking for solutions and action steps, they find them.
2. THEY REMAIN UPBEAT WHEN ALL AROUND THEM HAVE BECOME DEFEATED
By ‘Upbeat,’ we’re not talking about all hype and ‘rah rah’ here, but merely becoming focused on the positive outcomes, the lessons and learning of the situation, and taking the good from it.
It is near impossible to find a solution to a problem if you are feeling down, defeated or despondent. People with the Non Victim Mindset choose to stay focused on the positive, because they know that only that mental state is conducive to finding solutions.
Having a positive outlook no matter what decisions you have to make can inspire and help others deal with adversity too.
3. THEY INTELLIGENTLY PERSIST
Leaders of business and people who have a Non Victim Mindset keep on going when others have given up. The key words here are ‘Intelligently Persist’. They don't mindlessly keep going, repeating activities that have clearly borne no fruit, or activities that haven’t got them closer to the result that they are looking for.
They ask smart questions.
Eventually they breakthrough.
Take note of these 3 characteristics of the true Non Victim Mindset. It’s not rocket science.
Focusing on these three characteristics in times of hardship takes some work, but in the long run, it feels100 times better than just giving in to playing the small game of blaming, finding excuses and reasons for things not going well or for you turning up in your own life less than your best.
If you’re in business, you are a rock star, good on you. If you’re not in business, you’re a rock star too – at the end of the day we’re all fabulous Wild Wacky Wonderful Women doing our best.
So here’s to raising the bar in your own life. Remember nobody has a right to set your bar or even touch your bar. Some people want to keep you playing the small game, keeping your bar set very low, because it makes them feel better … You set the bar and keep on raising it … get a good run up … and then fly.
Sending you love and abundant blessings.
Nat (and Sandra)